Since my one post some time ago, I haven’t come back to the topic of depression, but I do have something to write on the subject tonight.
Up until 1990, I was an on-and-off smoker, though for the last couple of years preceeding 1990 I was a very heavy smoker, often over two packs a day. It was definitely a nicotine addiction, and it had a lot of power over me. The only reason I was able to quit was that I began seeing a woman who was both allergic to cigarette smoke, and had asthma; given the choice between cigarettes and her, I chose her, and a few days ago we celebrated our seventeenth wedding anniversary.
It was very hard to quit; apart from the physical discomfort, I had to rewire my brain to be able to enjoy activities like meals, drinks, a night at the pub etc. without my cigarettes. But I did it, and was able to beat the addiction.
As part of my depression treatment, I have to take anti-depressive medication on a daily basis, and the scary thing is that if I don’t take my little red pill in the morning, the side-effects (generally beginning around noon) are nasty — dizziness, mood swings, etc. In a sense I am right back where I started, with a chemical dependency.
I will have to find the courage to start getting weened off this nasty stuff; drug dependencies are not fun.
Technorati Tags: Depression, Drugs, Dependency
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